VA trip

Dates have been confirmed and I am super excited. Thanks to my sister and her husband for helping make this possible. I am really excited to see all my family again but i'm sad that not everyone will be there. i know i may not make it to see everyone but i'll be in va so let me know and come see me!! hah... as if i was on facebook and all the family would see this :P  anyways. i sent messages out to the people i call family and hope to see. im so freaking happy!!! *jumps up and down (in my head cuz pregnant people cant really do that)*
ok.. its short but exciting :D

Ooo

I think I just found a flight home. I was so stressed about not being able to go home at the end of May and it looks like God was looking out for me again. I have been having a really rough week and I think this is something I really needed to pull me through the month of April. I'll have a maxxed out card again but it'll be ok. It'll pay down and that's two weeks of child care I don't have to worry about paying for and also by the time I return I'll have at least a case worker for child support. I'm hoping that things will start looking up and that more positive things will be shown to me to relieve my ridiculous stress level. Thanks to my sister for helping me feel less discouraged about looking further into flights... :)

I think I need to post...

A days of thanks. Writing it down for myself isn't really helping much. And though it may be selfish I need to make myself feel better and this usually does.
1. I'm thankful for all the basics. Great house, great job, food, a reliable car, family, friends, love, insurance, and a more than comfortable living status.
2. This is where I may come off as spiteful so if you don't want to see it, don't read it. I'm thankful I got a divorce and have custody of my daughter. I'm thankful that I can provide for her on my own if I have to even though its tight sometimes but less so now that my boyfriend is helping even though he doesn't have to. I didn't want to let him at first, but if you pray for help and God gives it to you, you should take it in what form its given.
3. I'm thankful I no longer have to deal with lies and deceit being right in my face 24/7. I'm thankful that my significant other does not cheat on me or hide things from me and likewise from me to him. I'm thankful that he and I were truly friends first. Best friends at that.
4. I am thankful that most of our family has been accepting in the news of our pregnancy. Not only accepting but supportive and not judgemental.
5. I'm thankful that AJ and I make our own money but we put it all together and truly contribute to each others well being.
6. I am thankful that I was able to maintain a good relationship with my ex-husband's family...even if the same stance doesn't apply to him.
7. I am thankful that, for the most part, drama has disappeared out of my life and that I'm far less concerned about other people's opinions than I was this time a year ago.
8. I am thankful for my nearest and dearest friends who have done nothing but love me over the past several years. I'm thankful they don't hesitate to tell me the truth. And to be the shoulder I can cry on and the ear to scream into when I'm having a bad day.
9. I am thankful, even with all the evil things going on right now, that I live in the great United States of America.
10. I'm thankful that my family is still in tact, alive and living well.

Ugh

It's really too bad that once you let someone in your life that it's not so simple to get them out. I got told this weekend that if this person didn't have to see me they wouldn't but they have to so what can you do... I wish I didn't have to see them either. and I could give a really simple solution to just make us all happy but we all know it will never happen. I'm sorry I'm speaking in code and not being very clear. some people know exactly what I am talking about and the rest don't really need to know. I'm just venting. I hate that it isn't so simple as just hitting the "backspace" key on the keyboard or erasing a text. if it was that easy to remove someone from your life... it'd be way too easy lol. I've got to find a way to keep him from getting under my skin because it will just make things worse. I'm happy with who I'm with now. Which is why it bugs me so much that he can still make me so angry so quickly.


pray for me to cool my jets and just enjoy life!!

Picture updates

I don't know what order this will post up in but I figured it'd been a while so here they are!

Weird Things

I always find it strange when someone you have known for a very long time acts so differently out of the blue. And even more so when it seems genuine. This thought came to mind because of recent events. I have told pretty much everyone now that is directly related to me about my pregnancy. Dad reacted how I imagined, as did Tracy and my mother. Dad's side of the family took it well...and mom's side...well I haven't heard from them at all. Well, today I told my ex-husband.... just so he was aware. I never saw his response coming. "I'm happy for you if that's what you want."

WHAT?!

I almost broke my phone...almost dropped it in a pot of boiling water.

I expected outrage and a whole lot of attitude. And I got nothing of the sort.. I got a little "uhm what" kind of thing going but that was like a drop of water in a bucket. I expected a torrential downpour of some sort.

Anyways. Now that I got that out of the way, I've started this whole Bible query of sorts with my sister. We are both trying to feel out what exactly we believe and what exactly is applicable (what is still valid and what isn't)
I started attending the church that mom went to while she was here. And I feel they could be extremely beneficial if I can manage to keep myself motivated to keep going. They seem to think more outside the box than totally within the constraints of what most people see as the church today. (judgmental, strict, overbearing, etc.)
I will get more into that as I go though. I'm tired and the past week or so has just about brought me to the floor. So more on everything at another time.